Why does my boyfriend’s Gmail account get so much porn spam?

Why does my boyfriend’s Gmail account get loaded with nothing but porn emails in his spam folder, while my Gmail account gets none?  My spam is always empty, and he gets up to 30 porn spam emails a day.  They even come into his inbox!

–maxine

The Harvard MBA says:

I suspect you probably already know the answer, but I’ll give my thoughts anyways.

I’m not a spam expert, but searching on the term, “pornographic spam volume” revealed a series of articles dating back to 2007 that indicated that pornographic spam has been on the decline.

For example, in February of 2007, Symantec reported that porn spam had dropped from 22% of spam to just 4%.

It is always possible that the flood of pornographic spam is mere coincidence, but you can’t rule out the possibility that your boyfriend used his Gmail account to register with a porn site at some point, which then sold his email address to other players in the industry.

The more important question is, do you care if your boyfriend uses pornography?  While most of the writings on the topic argue that the use of pornography has a negative impact on relationships (indeed, The Art of Manliness argues against the use of pornography) statistics are not destiny.

If your boyfriend habitually uses pornography, but you continue to have a fulfilling sexual relationship, it’s hard to argue that it is having a negative impact.  On the other hand, if you find that your boyfriend seems uninterested in sex, or worse, is pressuring you to engage in sexual practices that make you feel uncomfortable or even painful, you need to speak up and make your feelings known.

If your boyfriend treats you well, and you have a fulfilling relationship, whether or not he uses pornography is probably unimportant.  If he doesn’t treat you well, and you have concerns about your relationship, you should probably discuss his usage of pornography in the broader context of what you want out of the relationship.

5 Comments

  1. Justin Case
    Posted March 13, 2012 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    Or, your boyfriend registered to any spamming web site indicating his sex as male. Porn spam is clearly targeted to males, isn’t it?

  2. miss kitty
    Posted April 11, 2012 at 12:00 am | Permalink

    yeah my boyfriend lies too about this and its not the porn I am worried about it’s the stuff that gets triggered from the effects of porn on my boyfriend thats a big worry for me. He then sneaks because that is exciting to him
    i believe. And he has to communicate with chicks with hopes of actual hooking up. And, He has too on a few occasions. Probably more than I think I know about. That’s the part that I don’t dig at all. Why lie to me? Why keep me in the dark about his lifestyle choice. Wouldn’t it be better to be honest with me? I already know how he is and I’m with him. Of course I’m with him because I do enjoy his company but boyfriend material he isn’t. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. And I’m so for that. Why not!? I shouldn’t be made to think he is solely devoted to me only when he is not. Oh and men have to be careful with porn because that’s male porn which appeals to men but women like sex different than men are thinking sex is by watching porn as their guide to what the average woman wants in bed. So men if you really want to know what a woman wants I suggest asking your lover yourself what she likes/wants and getting your hands on some sexy porn made for watching by average everyday females. thanks for letting me post my comment.
    kim

  3. Posted January 28, 2013 at 11:29 am | Permalink

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  4. Posted February 4, 2013 at 6:47 pm | Permalink

    If you see http://www.yourbrainonporn.com , you can learn about the terribly damaging effects of porn.

  5. Hot Sex?
    Posted May 27, 2014 at 4:38 am | Permalink

    Hot sex anyone?

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