How does a successful, beautiful lawyer meet an educated, successful, normal man?

Where and how in the hell do I meet a great, educated and successful man– who is normal too?  Me: Lawyer, successful, busy, and yes, beautiful.

P.S. No platitudes.  Answer as though this were your semester final exam; introduction, supporting points with examples.  You will be graded.

–Bonita

The Harvard MBA says:

Bonita, I can empathize with your situation.  One of the reasons it seems so hard is that over the past few decades, the rise in women’s professional and educational attainment (a good thing in general) has made it very difficult for high-achieving women to meet male peers–simply because those peers aren’t there.

I’ve written a piece for one of my other blogs where I detail the fall of men.  One of the telling statistics is that for every 100 college-educated 23-year-old men in America, there 164 college-educated 23-year-old women.  Another is that single young men earn 8% less than their female counterparts–a sharp contrast with the historical income advantage that men held.

In other words, the number of men who can match your education and professional success is depressingly low, and many of those men are probably already married or gay.

But even if the odds are against you, that doesn’t mean you can’t succeed in your goal of meeting an educated, successful, normal man.  The source for my advice will be the classic book, “Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others“.  (While you haven’t specified marriage as your object, I suspect that your criteria indicate that marriage is your goal)

  • Women with a large number of female friends are more likely to marry than women with a large number of male friends
    • Men don’t go out of their way to introduce their female friends to other men
  • If you reach 30 and want to get married, you have to make finding a husband a primary goal. Once your friends start getting married, they are less likely to have an active social life with you. Don’t be the last one off the bus!
  • The larger the number of single men and women you work with, the better your chances of marrying
  • Women with unrealistic expectations often remain single
    • Much of the time, these expectations are imposed by others, who think that the men she brings home aren’t “good enough for her.”
    • Give men a second chance—20% of brides to be said that they didn’t like their husband when they first met him.
  • Women who make an effort to seek out the company of single men are more likely to marry
    • Women who marry date more frequently than those who don’t, even it’s Mr. Wrong.
    • Women who marry are three times as likely to participate in masculine activities in which they had no real interest.
    • Women who marry are twice as likely to have made lifestyle sacrifices (changing jobs or moving) to meet eligible men.
  • Women who have active social lives are more likely to marry
    • Women who go out twice a week, even just to dine with other women or do volunteer work, are 3x as likely to marry than those who don’t go out.
    • Going out three times a week boosts your chances even further.
    • However, going out more than 5 nights a week decreases your chances.

The book also offers some advice specifically for women over 40, but I think the advice applies to all women:

  • The best places to meet eligible men are clubs and groups based on common interests. Join organization that have single men as members.
    • 21% of engaged women over 40 said that they had met their fiancée at an athletic club
    • Sports clubs that focus on activities that attract singles (trips, bicycling) are best
    • Next best are tennis, and golf.
    • Third come professional or social organizations that are overwhelmingly male, like engineering associations or collectors of sports memorabilia.
    • Fourth come organizations that have a singles scene, or sponsor events that give singles a chance to socialize with other club members.
    • Dances, picnics, and charity golf or tennis tournaments are also a good place to meet men.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

One Comment

  1. Evelyn
    Posted August 26, 2011 at 2:29 am | Permalink

    Where do I meet a successful Rich Normal Man.. Can anyone help me..

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